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Advice for Parents

Partnering with Your Child's School

How can you help your child succeed in the coming school year? Think of yourself as a partner to all the people who want to help -- the teachers, the principal, and any other staff members who are involved with your child's education.

 The importance of getting involved
You might think it's the teacher's job to make sure your child learns. But studies show that children get extra benefits when their parents are involved in their education. When parents work closely with schools, children get better grades, have better attendance, and develop a better attitude toward schoolwork. For this reason, most schools give parents many opportunities to participate. You can get involved even if you work during school hours, have a very busy schedule, or travel frequently for your job. The school will have options that will likely fit into your schedule.

Providing support at home
Your partnership with your child's school begins at home. Make sure your child has a quiet place to study, a regular time for homework, and the school supplies he needs to do his work. Show an interest in what he learns every day. Ask questions about his teachers, schoolwork, and activities. Find out if the school has a Web site you can visit or a telephone number you can call to learn about homework assignments.

Staying in touch with the school
At the start of each school year, find out how the teacher wants you to keep in touch. Should you call, send e-mail, or write notes? Meet with your child's teacher as soon as you can and ask how you can help your child learn. Be sure to bring up any questions or concerns you have about your child or school policies. This will start a conversation about your child's education that you can continue all year long.

Other ways to get involved
One of the most important things you can do to help your child learn is to go to parent-teacher conferences. This will give you time to sit down with the teacher, find out how your child is doing, and ask questions about anything that's unclear. Let the teacher know if your job doesn't permit you to attend a conference during the usual hours. Most schools will try to arrange an alternate date or time. It's important to take part in other activities, too. Go to meetings of parent groups such as the PTO and PTA. Attend Back-to-School Nights, Family Nights, and other special events. All of these will help you understand what the school expects of you and your child. You will find that you form a positive relationship with the school by supporting your child's learning.

Helping in the classroom and elsewhere
You can strengthen your partnership with your child's school by volunteering in her classroom. If your work schedule doesn't permit this, think about your skills and how they could help the school. If you love to sew or to work with wood, maybe you could make costumes or build sets for a play. Maybe you can collect and tally coupons or sales receipts for your child's classroom fundraiser. If you're great at sales, you might be able to raise money for new band uniforms. This will show the school that you care about and support your child's education. It also sends a strong message to your child that her school is important to you and you will do everything you can to help her succeed there.

Staying Involved with Your Child's Education in High School

Start the new school year off right by getting involved and staying involved in your child's education. Connect with teachers, administrators, and other parents throughout the year.

The benefits of staying connected to your teenager's high school 
Whether you've been very involved with your child's schools in the past, or not involved at all, it's important to have a solid connection to his high school. Teenagers get many benefits when their parents participate in their education. Research has shown that students' grades go up, their self-confidence rises, and their chances of graduating and doing well after high school increase. They are also less likely to abuse alcohol and drugs. Staying involved with your teenager's school sends the vital message that you take his schoolwork very seriously and expect him to take it seriously, too.

The importance of meeting with teachers 
The most important way to stay connected to your teenager's school is to go to parent-teacher conferences. These let you sit down with your child's teachers, ask questions, and get honest answers about how she is doing and how you can help. But don't wait for an "official" conference if you have questions about your teenager's work. Get in touch with a teacher right away if you have concerns -- for example, if your child doesn't seem to be challenged by a class, if she may be at risk of failing a subject, or if she never seems to have homework in a particular subject. Bring up your concerns and talk about ways to resolve them. Be sure to ask how to stay touch with the teacher and monitor your child's progress. Should you call, send e-mail, or write notes? You can further strengthen your ties to your child's teachers by going to meetings of parent-teacher groups such as the PTA or PTO. You may be able to speak informally with teachers at these meetings or get helpful information about school policies and resources.

Other ways to stay involved 
In addition to meeting with teachers and parents' groups, try to stay in touch with the school in other ways. Take advantage of technologies such as e-mail and voice mail that can help you communicate with teachers and staff, and "homework hotlines" that let you check on assignments. If your school doesn't offer these, talk with teachers and administrators about getting these systems set up.

Explore many ways to strengthen your ties to your child's school. Could you volunteer in a classroom, chaperone trips or dances, or help with special events, such as school plays or concerts? Could you use your talent for art or photography to make posters for a fundraiser or take pictures for a yearbook? If you aren't sure how a school could use your skills, call the principal's office and ask who coordinates the activities of parent volunteers. Whatever your skills and interests, your child's school has a place for you -- if you make an effort to find it.

Starting the College Search

All the pressure on students to get into the "best" colleges these days can make the college selection process feel daunting. How can you support your teenager through this interesting, fun, and challenging time? Read on to find tips about starting the college search.

Talk with your teenager 
With so many colleges to choose from, where should you begin? There are many resources available for helping your child find the right school. Experts recommend that you begin by talking with your teenager about what he or she wants out of the college experience. Is your teenager looking for a big or small school? A school with a strong athletic, music, or engineering program? Talk about your practical concerns like cost and location and how these may affect your child's decision.

Research 
The Internet is great resource for the college selection process. Many educational Web sites will link you to search engines that select schools based on many factors. Location, tuition, size, available majors, sports, religious affiliations, average GPAs, and student-teacher ratios are a few ways to focus your search. Two helpful Web sites are www.anycollege.net and www.educationquest.org.

You may find that there are dozens -- if not hundreds -- of schools that meet your child's basic needs. Narrowing down the list to a manageable 10 to 15 schools is not as difficult as it sounds. Offer these suggestions to your child to narrow the list.

Refine your list

• Decide what's important to you. Do you want to be able to take art classes your freshman year or join the water polo team? Do you need a vegetarian dining room or a newspaper staff that welcomes freshmen writers? List the specific requirements you're looking for, and then find out if a school can meet your needs.
• Ask around. You may have a friend, relative, neighbor, or teacher who went to one of the schools you're interested in. Talk to people whose opinions you value and ask as many questions as possible, including what each person loved -- and didn't like -- about each school.
• Talk to your school counselor. The school counselor probably has lots of experience helping students in the college selection process. He or she may be able to share insights about the colleges you're looking at, or connect you with graduates from your high school who attend or are alumni of the schools you're interested in.  

Once you've narrowed down your list, plan visits to the schools you're most interested in. If you can't visit, check out the school online. Many admissions Web sites list current students who are eager to answer any questions you may have via e-mail.

Cover your bases
Your list of colleges should include safety schools, good matches, and reaches. Safety schools are schools that you are pretty sure will accept you. Good matches are schools you believe you have a good chance of getting into, and reaches are the schools that may be a stretch, but are worth a shot.

Try not to insist on finding one school that is a "perfect" match -- it might not exist. Instead, try to focus on those schools that meet your basic requirements. Take the time to learn more about these schools to find the ones that seem best for you.

The next year may be challenging
Your child will be busy taking tests, filling out applications, writing essays, and preparing psychologically to leave his or her home and friends next year. All of these changes will affect you, too. As a parent, you may worry about whether your teenager is making the best decisions for his or her future. You may wonder how you'll adjust to this new stage of life if your child leaves home. This is a year full of transitions -- some happy and some sad. Remember to be patient and calm -- with your child and with yourself.

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